The Color of Hope is Blue

Many people are sad during Christmas. They grieve and hurt and even groan as the people around them sing carols, exchange gifts, laugh and  seem completely unaware of their pain.

Are you blue this Christmas? Does your heart feel torn apart?

Did you notice the season of advent is blue?

Advent is the season of expectant waiting. The world waits with anticipation the arrival of a savior to free them from sadness, illness and death.

Let’s take a moment to study two very different biblical sisters at the heart of Christmas in Luke 1:

Elizabeth Pregnant with John the Baptist

Elizabeth (well along in years) became pregnant (with John the Baptist) and for five months remained in seclusion.  “The Lord has done this for me,” she said. “In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people.” (v. 24-25)

How would you feel if you became pregnant long after child-bearing years?  Would you be joyful?

Last night at Bible and Beverages, we talked about another sister whose pain often gets overlooked. 

Mary and the Birth of Jesus Foretold

(v. 26-38) In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee,  to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

How do you think you’d react if an angel appeared to you? Would you feel blessed or be worried you were crazy?

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God.  You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David,  and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”

 “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.  Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month.  For no word from God will ever fail.”

Do you find these words comforting?  Can you imagine being the mother of GOD?

How does the church treat unwed pregnant teens? What are your thoughts? 

How can you help Mary this Christmas?

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

Mary Visits Elizabeth

At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.  In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”

Wow!  Even before he was born, John the Baptist announced the arrival of Jesus. The Holy Spirit came upon both of these women to proclaim our Lord’s arrival. 

Incredible biblical women!

I love reading these passages at least once a year before Christmas to remember that Jesus is the greatest gift.  

Are you feeling blue this Christmas? Are you grieving or sad during the holidays?

If even the mother of our savior was troubled during this time, then it must be okay for us to have questions and fears as we await his return. 

These verses remind me that God has a plan, the Lord will fulfill his promises and his kingdom will reign forever.  

Remember our tears are a testament of our love and our need for Christ. You don’t have to hide your pain. You are not alone. Tis the season to be blue.

Amen

Seeking Peace for Christmas

“Glory to God in the highest, and peace to his people on earth.” Luke 2:14

Warning: STOP reading if you LOVE Christmas, look forward to it every year,  believe it is the perfect time of year and are sad to see it go. This post is not for YOU.

To everyone else, Christmas is stressful. Peace is hard to find in line at a department store.

Finding the perfect gift isn’t always possible with a heart filled with grief.

Death, suicide, illness, depression, abuse, poverty and other sins wage wars far greater than an atheist, Muslim or Jewish person’s failure to wish a Merry Christmas.

It is a stressful time of year keeping up with the Jones or St. Perfect down the street, running from demons and pretending to be happy when the bank is empty, the heart is heavy, the sky is dark and the well is dry.

Peace may be absent. It failed to show up and chaos took over where we hoped love would grow.

Every year my husband and I counsel  couples and people struggling during Christmas. Peace is at the top of their list but Santa must have them on his naughty list.

Sometimes we counsel each other because even pastors and their families can become casualties during Christmas. Disagreements may separate us around the altar.

Drop chaos and pick up love.

Read the Christmas story in Luke 2 or Matthew 1. Christmas started with a poor couple having a baby in a smelly barn with animals and poop.  No one invited them for Christmas dinner. But Christ, the ‘perfect’ gift, showed up anyway.

And God celebrated with the greatest party the world ever saw (or missed). No matter how many twinkle lights we put up, it will never compare to the first, the only and the perfect Christmas.

Unlike the exodus from Egypt, Jesus’ life, death and resurrection,  God never tells us to celebrate or even remember Jesus’ birth. Did Jesus have any other birthday parties during his time on earth? The bible doesn’t say.

 

While guilt is a very popular Christmas gift, it’s not biblical. Don’t worry – we can’t screw up Christmas! The cross will always be there to save us. The cross is an indestructible gift that can’t be torn, broken or taken away.  It’s called grace.

Grace couldn’t be defeated.  Our living Christ embraces us. We are never alone at the dinner table with crazy relatives, in line at a department store or in the bedroom. When our hearts cry out for a savior, Christ is born. Peace. AMEN!

Peace on Christmas

“Glory to God in the highest, and peace to his people on earth.” Luke 2:14

Warning: This post requires action. Anyone desiring peace this Christmas or next or sometime in the future will need to raise the white flag and end the war on Christmas.

How do we end a war? Stop fighting! It really is that simple. While tug a war can be lots of fun on a playground with eager participants, it isn’t fun around the dinner table, in line at a department store, at the alter or in the bedroom. Seriously, drop the rope!

Please read to the end before forwarding this post to whatever goblin is robbing Christmas.

Christmas is a stressful time of year for just about everyone regardless of their faith. No one enjoys having the same rope thrust at them year after year from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day by strangers and people claiming to love them.

I know lots of folks who just LOVE Christmas and claim it is the perfect time of year.  They look forward to the season and are sad to see it go. This post is not for them.  They can STOP reading.

For everyone else, the bible assures us that the perfect Christmas – the first Christmas – happened a long time ago. The ‘perfect’ gift has already been given. And no matter how many twinkle lights we put up, it will never compare to the first Christmas.

Death, suicide, illness, depression, abuse, poverty and other sins wage wars far greater than an atheist’s failure to wish a Merry Christmas.

Even pastors and their families have become casualties during these Christmas wars.

It is a stressful time of year keeping up with the Jones or St. Perfect down the street, running from demons and pretending to be happy when the well is dry.

Every year my husband and I counsel  couples and individuals struggling during the Christmas season.

And my gift is always the same to each – drop the ropes and pick up love.

Read the Christmas story in Luke 2 or Matthew 1. Christmas started with a poor couple having a baby in a barn with a bunch of animals.  While we assume they had lots of family in the area, no one invited them for Christmas dinner.

God went all out celebrating the birth of his son, but the bible doesn’t share any other birthday parties for Jesus.

And unlike the exodus from Egypt we’re never told to celebrate or even remember his birth.

While guilt is a very popular gift at Christmas, it’s not biblical. Don’t worry – you can’t screw up Christmas! The cross will always be there to save you. It is an incredible safety net that can’t be torn, broken or taken away.  It is called grace.

Grace that couldn’t be defeated by death.  It rose from the dead leaving an empty tomb.  Our living Christ embraces us. We are never alone at the dinner table with crazy relatives, in line at a department store or in the bedroom. Christ won the war. Peace. AMEN!

Related Articles:

Christmas: Bill O’Reilly and Sara Palin vs. Jon Stewart . . . and Pope Francis? by the Unexpected Pastor

The War on Christmas: The Yule Logs in Our Own Eyes by the Unexpected Pastor

FEAR – Enemies and Other Mean People

Deuteronomy 20:3-4 (NIV)

“Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight  for you against your enemies to give you victory. ”

Thanksgiving in America and the perfect opportunity to vent holiday fears – scary relatives!!!

For some the panic started weeks ago leading up to this fateful day!  Some of us wake up with our worst enemies masked as lovers, others must slay the beasts within.

Enemies? Fear…Panic… Faint! Help me check out!

I’m so thankful God led me to safety! And pray my sisters and brothers are able to follow my footsteps.  This is my prayer for scary situations:

Lord, I’m not sure where we’re heading. I’m not strong, brave… I’m overweight. I can’t run fast. You really don’t want me on your team.

Why are the walls pushing in?

What exactly did I sign up for?

I thought surfer Jesus was going to surf in and save me, all my enemies would become my friends and everything would be easy.

Don’t you have an easy button??? Where is the easy button?

Lord, did I push you into the passenger seat again? I’m sorry. Please forgive me.  I’m lost AGAIN!  I hate panic.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  Please Lord, Please Lord, climb over me, take the wheel, give me victory.

Breathe…E x h a l e…Breathe…EXHALE…Amen!

Thanksgiving Roots

Blessed
Painting by Karen Simpson

Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him.

See that you go on growing in the Lord,

and become strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught.

Let your lives overflow with joy and thanksgiving for all he has done.

Colossians 2:7

Thank you Lord for your many blessings and miracles. Grow us strong roots to keep us grounded in your love.  Let our lives overflow with peace and thanksgiving offerings.  Wrap your arms around our brothers and sisters who struggle with joy and thankfulness. Give strength to all surrounded by evil.  Make your presence known, help us sow seeds of peace and find safety in your truth. Your love is abundant. Amen

Preparing for Darkness

Psalm 18:28

Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light

Lord, we cry out for your mercy and grace! Embrace us as the days get shorter, the cold surrounds us and the darkness grows!  Give us the warmth of your light.  Tap us on the shoulder to remind us you are with us in the dark!

Almighty powerful Lord, release depression’s power and clutch.  Give peace and rest.  Let the darkness become a beautiful chance for all to hibernate and rejuvenate in your embrace. Do not let anyone grow cold and despair!

Remember our siblings on the other side of the world breaking out of the darkness into Spring. Help them to use new-found energy to live, find joy and rejoice in your light.

Help us to see the children of darkness, teach us to reach out and hold their hands and give them comfort until they can feel your warm embrace. Turn darkness into light! Amen!

No Fair! Coping with Life’s Injustice

Be glad, rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before. Joel 2:23 NIV

Great verse for Singing in the Rain but I’m not in the mood! I wish I was because it is definitely raining!  The sun is out, there’s a blue sky but my heart is drowning in an Autumn shower.

I’m a whiney, fussy Christian woman whose life isn’t going her way! It has been a very difficult and painful journey. The grief from each loss is a dark cloud that seeps in, chasing all joy and hope away as it surrounds us in its cold, dark hopeless hands.  Life is not fair and I’m in the mood for a major tantrum.

I hate being sad. I can never tolerate it for very long. I feel like I either have to give up, give in; or jump up and run. I pray it will go away.  I beg God to lift this cloud because I just can’t stand the darkness.

I’ve spent a lifetime running from every cloud! I’m always looking for the rainbow, pulling smiles out of my pocket and keeping a stiff upper lip.

And for the most part, I’ve been successful by singing little songs in my head like, “Just keep moving, just keep moving, don’t stop now, you’re almost there…just keep moving, don’t look, it’ll be over soon, just keep moving…” I run to a happy place until the cloud passes but this cloud just doesn’t seem to want to go away!

As I’ve shared in other posts, our daughter was diagnosed with Crohn’s when she was 15 year old. NO FAIR!

Thankfully our daughter seemed validated by the diagnosis and was very accepting as we hit each bump on our way down the diagnosis stairwell. She remained optimistic during treatment, even with the terrible side effects of medications; return of symptoms, invasive tests and with each more aggressive treatment plan.

While the black cloud seemed to pour down on my husband and me, it didn’t seem to be able to catch up with our daughter.

Eight months after she was diagnosed with only three months of relief, she became sick again and we realized she probably was never in remission. NO FAIR!

She started on Remicade infusions, got better but not well enough to finish her last semester and not well enough to return to the classroom. Still she remained optimistic, hoping on-line classes would provide her the flexibility to allow a normal social life.

But her illness refused to cooperate. On-line classes increased her loneliness. Illness prevented her from being involved with her school musical, it prevented her from being part of a theatre competition she had been working towards for two years, from auditioning for other musicals, seeing her friends, getting to church, returning to school…. and the losses just seemed to keep coming. Each day she looked as if she had fallen down another step in her recovery. NO FAIR!

She began to look depressed and act irritable. Her grief became visible. It took on its own form and lurked about our house. NO FAIR!

We got her into therapy and the summer months provided some relief but not enough to allow her a full week back in school.  The black rain cloud shows no sign of going away.  NO FAIR!

It was easier to wrestle with my own rain cloud but I feel extremely ill equipped to wrestle with my daughter’s. Sixteen months later with less than four months of relief, I’m failing at coping with life’s injustices.

I’ve looked through all my notes on coping with loss. I’ve given myself gold stars for making sure I get daily exercise, trying to get plenty of sleep and trying to keep a daily routine.  I list my positives and try to focus on the things I can control. We’ve celebrated every moment of relief and try to create lots of family fun but my coping strategies don’t stop the little black cloud from hovering over my daughter.

I stare at my daughter’s mean ol’ black cloud. I give it nasty, evil looks. I want to wrestle it.  I want to defeat it.  I want to make it go away!  But it is beyond my control!  Argh! How can I help her cope when I’m kicking sand in the sandbox, shaking my fist at God, screeching NO FAIR!?

I haven’t posted much because I don’t know what to say.  I don’t feel very inspiring. I’d love to end every post on a high note but I promised to walk in truth.

If I had a magic wand I would wish it away but I found out a long time ago that my wand doesn’t work.  It never worked so rather than pretend it does I’ll show how far I’ve grown in faith by just leaving this mess at the altar.

Psalm 10:14
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

Prayers greatly appreciated.

Little Black Rain Cloud

Sad? Why should I be sad? A little black rain cloud has no friends. I’m always accused of chasing hope and joy away!  No one is happy to see me, no one wants me around and everyone celebrates when I’m gone.

Don’t they know I can hear their cheers when I leave? Ouch! It is very difficult and painful being me!

Do you think I like being a dark, cold cloud?  I hate being sad.  I’d love to meet the Sun.  I’d like being dried eyed.

I’m not sure how long I can take being a little black rain cloud.  I don’t want to grow up into a storm.  I prayed. I asked Jesus to lift my darkness.  I asked why?

I spent a lifetime running away from myself! Hoping if I move fast enough I’ll dry out. I sing little songs in my head like, “Just keep moving, just keep moving, don’t stop now, you’re almost there…just keep moving, don’t look, it’ll be over soon, just keep moving…”

I dream one day I’ll wake up happy.  Someone will be happy to see me and I’ll have a friend.

I’ve seen lots of potential friends but I never seem to catch them. They are always ducking for cover. No one tells me anything.

I try to remain optimistic  hoping the rain will stop, I lose the heaviness, turn beautiful, white and fluffy.

But each day I awake dark, depressed and irritable.  My grief is visible.  It took on its own form and lurks about.

I tried therapy but my therapist became depressed. She didn’t offer me the coping strategies I needed. She became depressed.

Two months later I was more anxious, more fearful and less social.  The therapist  recommended medications, which I’m not against but what about breathing exercises. Perhaps I’d be less saturated if I breathed properly.

I wrestled with grief. I felt frustrated and fearful the therapist was making me worse.

I asked her if she felt crazy, sad, angry, frustrated and hopeless? Hanging out with a little black rain cloud is depressing.

I had to leave my new friend.  She didn’t love me anyway. And was happy to see me go.

So I asked God again, “Why?”

God took me in His giant hands, petted away my electrical fears and looked me in the eye.

“My little black rain cloud, you are my tears! You water the Earth! You let them know I’ve heard their prayers; I’m with them. We cry with them and stay as long as they need us! I love you little black rain cloud! You help me bring new life! Next time, listen a little closer, some of those cheers are for you!”

Tut-tut, it looks like rain!

Psalm 10:14
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

Please let me know you stopped by – scroll down to the comments and share a prayer; or share this post with a friend to say they are loved even when followed by a little black rain cloud. 

Crying in the New Year

We made it through Christmas.  Our expectant waiting is over.  The Savior is born. The New Year has begun, our resolutions made, thoughtfully planned, diligently executed. Hopefully, only a few foolish promises have been broken before the first month has barely begun.

The clock started and the question never seems to be whether we’ll keep our resolution but for how long.

Do resolutions set us up for failure?

I haven’t been able to find a biblical context for making them and the only resolution I’ve kept is the resolution to stop making resolutions!  I honestly can’t recall the last time I made a resolution.

I can’t save myself. My self-esteem doesn’t need any more blows! So why set myself up for failure? Isn’t that why I need a savior?

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24 (NIV)

This sinful fallen world provides enough disappointment and tears without setting such low expectations.

So many sisters and brothers suffer from depression during the holidays, some from the loss of loved ones, illness or hardship.  Others wrestle with mental illness or swarms of mind altering relatives or good intentioned “church” people, binding up the New Year, swinging it about our heads and bringing it crashing down with a loud THUD! The only ringing may be in our ears from the blow.

I’m not against setting goals or making daily reflections.  There are lots of resolutions I’ve admired. And I’ve made lots of life changes, just not as New Years’ resolutions.

I’m OKAY!  I had a great New Year! No one spoiled my celebration or spit in my champagne.

But not everyone parties in the New Year.  While I didn’t cry in this New Year, I have others.

Several of my friends have lost loved ones. And quite frankly this hasn’t been the most joyous year for our family.  Our daughter was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease this year; and I’m writing this post as she sleeps in the chair next to me receiving her 2^nd Remicade infusion. I pray it works.  I pray it is the miracle we’ve hoped for.

Following our savior to the cross (Easter) can be very painful, difficult, exhausting and hard work.  So if you’re feeling a bit over or under whelmed, you are not alone.

Let’s take a moment to meet our holy family (Mary, Joseph and Jesus) in Matthew 2.  After the magi visit them, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, telling him to take Mary and Jesus to Egypt to keep him alive. I guess it’s the way God talks to guys named Joe.

Joseph obeys and the family goes to Egypt to stay, fulfilling what the Lord said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”(Hosea 11:1)

While we rejoice that our savior, Jesus is saved, let us recall that not all rejoiced. Herod killed all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he learned the savior was born in Bethlehem.  This fulfilled what was said through the prophet Jeremiah (31:15):

“A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more.”

Scripture doesn’t say, Rachel rejoiced because her child was sacrificed, was thankful for the time she had with her child or was comforted by her other children. She grieved and was upset.  She refused to be consoled and God recorded her tears in scripture with the promise of the empty tomb. Why? Because God never breaks resolutions!  Amen!

Lord, thank you for hearing your daughters’ tears.  When we weep, you comfort. Even when we refuse, you remain, keeping count of our tears. Thank you for sending your son, as a sacrifice for our tears. Amen.

Prayer: Mental Health

Lord, this month we honor and celebrate our sisters afflicted with mental illness. Awareness and intervention provide the difference between life and death for our loved ones suffering with depression, bipolar, dissociation, anxiety (panic)… Give us the courage to support, love and reach out to one another. You are an awesome God!  You cradle us in your arms and give us hope.  Help us to let you light shine on one another.  Help us to trust with our heart and love with your grace. Amen