Little Black Rain Cloud

Eeyore Black Rain Cloud

Sad? Why should I be sad? A little black rain cloud has no friends. I’m always accused of chasing hope and joy away!  No one is happy to see me, no one wants me around and everyone celebrates when I’m gone.

Don’t they know I can hear their cheers when I leave? Ouch! It is very difficult and painful being me!

Do you think I like being a dark, cold cloud?  I hate being sad.  I’d love to meet the Sun.  I’d like being dried eyed.

I’m not sure how long I can take being a little black rain cloud.  I don’t want to grow up into a storm.  I prayed. I asked Jesus to lift my darkness.  I asked why?

I spent a lifetime running away from myself! Hoping if I move fast enough I’ll dry out. I sing little songs in my head like, “Just keep moving, just keep moving, don’t stop now, you’re almost there…just keep moving, don’t look, it’ll be over soon, just keep moving…”

I dream one day I’ll wake up happy.  Someone will be happy to see me and I’ll have a friend.

I’ve seen lots of potential friends but I never seem to catch them. They are always ducking for cover. No one tells me anything.

I try to remain optimistic  hoping the rain will stop, I lose the heaviness, turn beautiful, white and fluffy.

But each day I awake dark, depressed and irritable.  My grief is visible.  It took on its own form and lurks about.

I tried therapy but my therapist became depressed. She didn’t offer me the coping strategies I needed. She became depressed.

Two months later I was more anxious, more fearful and less social.  The therapist  recommended medications, which I’m not against but what about breathing exercises. Perhaps I’d be less saturated if I breathed properly.

I wrestled with grief. I felt frustrated and fearful the therapist was making me worse.

I asked her if she felt crazy, sad, angry, frustrated and hopeless? Hanging out with a little black rain cloud is depressing.

I had to leave my new friend.  She didn’t love me anyway. And was happy to see me go.

So I asked God again, “Why?”

God took me in His giant hands, petted away my electrical fears and looked me in the eye.

“My little black rain cloud, you are my tears! You water the Earth! You let them know I’ve heard their prayers; I’m with them. We cry with them and stay as long as they need us! I love you little black rain cloud! You help me bring new life! Next time, listen a little closer, some of those cheers are for you!”

Tut-tut, it looks like rain!

Psalm 10:14
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

Please let me know you stopped by – scroll down to the comments and share a prayer; or share this post with a friend to say they are loved even when followed by a little black rain cloud. 

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15 thoughts on “Little Black Rain Cloud

  1. Sister, you really need to join a gym!!! LOL! Hang out with “Little Miss Sunshine” more often. Dear Lord, shelter those who are always in a rain cloud, help them to see your light. I pray they move from darkness into your light and experience your magnificent sunshine all the days of their lives! In Jesus’ name we pray and pray and pray! Amen!

  2. Karen, I pray you really don’t feel like Eeyore. I knew you only briefly in my time of grief, shortly after losing my husband. You reached out in love to me, a mere acquaintance. There is a hand painted picture of HOPE still hanging in my living room that you gave to me, reminding me to smile and look up for comfort. I thank God every day for bringing you into my life albeit for one brief but shining moment. Perhaps I never said that clearly enough in those days. But today 8 yrs later, I count you among the treasured individuals God gave me the opportunity and privilege to encounter on my journey through life. Marie

    • Marie-Thank you for your kindness! I do NOT feel like Eeyore but I have felt that sad when my brothers died 24 years ago. And I’ve sat with many grieving families praying they feel the HOPE you shared.

      I’ve also loved and counseled many Eeyore’s and little black rain clouds that feel alone and unloved. This post provided me the opportunity to put myself in the place of the raincloud.

      I hate sadness and run from the little black rain cloud singing my little comfort song in my head. And for the most part it never gets a good hold of me.

      Unfortunately, like my brother, many of our sisters and brothers are unable to shake the clouds of depression, hopeless and thoughts of ending their lives.

      I hope this post conveys a love beyond understanding, gives little black rain clouds a smile and the comfort of Christ’s Love! I am thankful you are doing well and still have the painting to remind you of me and our Lord!

    • Absolutely! Medication is a miracle for many! As noted, I’m not against meds- I just don’t think they should be the first line of defense and as noted in anti-depressant warnings, sadly, these meds may cause patients to become more rather than less depressed.

      Good to hear form you! I’ve been enjoying your posts!.

  3. Karen, this was absolutely beautiful. You so eloquently spoke the feelings of so many, and the precious love of the Almighty. Such a beautiful way to give hope to the rest of those who have been rainclouds… What a lovely way to give hope to this once white cloud, who has become darkened and overcast, heavy with rain (tears).

    Thank you so much, my beloved friend, for sharing this to give hope to the hopeless. You are a treasure, and your ministry here is such a blessing. Continue the good fight and press on in Jesus’ name, because so many women need you desperately.

    Much love,
    Cheryl

    • Lord-Bless my sister Cheryl! Release her heaviness (tears), gather them and hold them safe in your heart. Please bring her peace, comfort and healing. Let her awake a new day as a white, fluffy cloud of joy. Give her strength and a dance in her step. Bless her blog, her ministry, her heart and her love! Christ’s peace Lord Jesus! Thank you for inspiring me to pound out on the keys “Little Black Rain Cloud”! AMEN!!!!!

  4. Pingback: Best Moment Award | Burning Fire Shut Up In My Bones

  5. i relate to your post so much. but for me I call myself spongebob. in so many reasons. now I feel like writing about me and spongebob.

    God Bless!

  6. Thank you Purple Phoenix! Lord watch over my friend! Let her know you are near. Carry her in the palm of your hand. Give her your peace. Wrap her in your love. Show her how beautiful she is and guide her as she shares her story! Amen.

    I look forward to reading your post. Pls send me the link! Christ’s peace!

  7. I do believe all the concepts you have introduced for your post.

    They are very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too short for newbies.
    May just you please lengthen them a little from next time?
    Thank you for the post.

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