Sad? Why should I be sad? A little black rain cloud has no friends. I’m always accused of chasing hope and joy away! No one is happy to see me, no one wants me around and everyone celebrates when I’m gone.
Don’t they know I can hear their cheers when I leave? Ouch! It is very difficult and painful being me!
Do you think I like being a dark, cold cloud? I hate being sad. I’d love to meet the Sun. I’d like being dried eyed.
I’m not sure how long I can take being a little black rain cloud. I don’t want to grow up into a storm. I prayed. I asked Jesus to lift my darkness. I asked why?
I spent a lifetime running away from myself! Hoping if I move fast enough I’ll dry out. I sing little songs in my head like, “Just keep moving, just keep moving, don’t stop now, you’re almost there…just keep moving, don’t look, it’ll be over soon, just keep moving…”
I dream one day I’ll wake up happy. Someone will be happy to see me and I’ll have a friend.
I’ve seen lots of potential friends but I never seem to catch them. They are always ducking for cover. No one tells me anything.
I try to remain optimistic hoping the rain will stop, I lose the heaviness, turn beautiful, white and fluffy.
But each day I awake dark, depressed and irritable. My grief is visible. It took on its own form and lurks about.
I tried therapy but my therapist became depressed. She didn’t offer me the coping strategies I needed. She became depressed.
Two months later I was more anxious, more fearful and less social. The therapist recommended medications, which I’m not against but what about breathing exercises. Perhaps I’d be less saturated if I breathed properly.
I wrestled with grief. I felt frustrated and fearful the therapist was making me worse.
I asked her if she felt crazy, sad, angry, frustrated and hopeless? Hanging out with a little black rain cloud is depressing.
I had to leave my new friend. She didn’t love me anyway. And was happy to see me go.
So I asked God again, “Why?”
God took me in His giant hands, petted away my electrical fears and looked me in the eye.
“My little black rain cloud, you are my tears! You water the Earth! You let them know I’ve heard their prayers; I’m with them. We cry with them and stay as long as they need us! I love you little black rain cloud! You help me bring new life! Next time, listen a little closer, some of those cheers are for you!”
Tut-tut, it looks like rain!
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.
Please let me know you stopped by – scroll down to the comments and share a prayer; or share this post with a friend to say they are loved even when followed by a little black rain cloud.