Cupid’s arrow hit me March 2, 1995.
I wasn’t too happy with that little flying angel. I didn’t trust him even after I felt his little arrow pierce my heart. I was determined to stay upright and refuse to fall. But God had other plans.
A friend tried to introduce me to cupid in 1993. She said she knew the perfect guy for me. He was tall, dark hair, Christian, great with kids, really nice and very GQ. She said she could ‘see’ us together.
Well her friend and I refused to take the bait. We both were recovering from failed relationships. And I had finally figured out that the only guys attracted to me needed to be institutionalized.
I told my friend he wouldn’t be interested unless something was wrong with him. Normal guys just aren’t interested in me.
Seriously, even my other girlfriends agreed I could clear the room of crazies. Every guy who needed a therapist or probation officer instead of a girlfriend naturally seemed drawn to me.
I changed my shampoo, conditioner, perfume and everything else but it didn’t matter.
I prayed to God just about every day since I started noticing boys but God was silent. I decided God was clearly telling me I was too messed up for a relationship. I could not meet, begin or sustain a relationship with a nice guy.
Well our mutual friend disagreed and remained persistent for over two years. Finally we both agreed at the same time to meet.
Our friend had a son the same age as my son so she thought it was a great idea for us all to meet for lunch. Despite us all being in ‘helping’ fields, I didn’t like the idea of my son meeting a stranger before I checked him out first so I asked for his number and call him at work before our scheduled date.
He seemed to be all the great things my friend claimed except he was atheist.
ATHEIST? He was too smart for God.
I couldn’t date anyone who didn’t attend church. God was very important to me. I had just started going back to church. I was a mom. I couldn’t date anyone who didn’t attend church.
I figured this was the end of the conversation with the nice man with the kind voice on the other end of the phone. God was definitely a deal breaker.
However, he offered to go to church. This man who I never met agreed to go to church with me. I still can’t believe I didn’t fall off my chair or drop the phone when he claimed to be atheist.
I protested; clarifying that he couldn’t just try it on because I was a mom. I had a son. As long as we were together, he would have to make a lifelong commitment. I was not going to fight with my son about going to church because he didn’t go to church.
He agreed. He said he didn’t have a problem with church. He just didn’t believe in God. As a juvenile probation officer he often recommended families go to church for the structure, support and values.
Well that is all I recall from our first conversation. He asked for my number and told me he’d call me at home.
I immediately called my friend to ask why she assumed he was Christian when he clearly was atheist. ATHEIST!
I thought she knew this guy.
She insisted he wasn’t really atheist and told me not to worry.
I realized my friend must have hit her head, needed a dictionary, was smoking dope or whatever making her completely out of touch with reality.
I’d been around enough to know that just because something looked like a caterpillar didn’t mean it would turn into a butterfly. And I’d learned it wasn’t fair to go into a relationship expecting the person to improve with time. Why set my son and myself up for disappointment?
I prayed and for the first time God told me to relax, reminding me that he agreed to go to church.
The atheist called later and we talked for over 10 ½ hours while watching the Oscars Academy Awards. He was nice. He was funny. And we had lots in common.
He said he was probably more agnostic since he prayed on airplanes.
He also kept his word. He attended church and we even joined the church softball team.
The first thing my 3-year old son asked him?
‘You want a beer? Everyone else has one.”
I’m not sure what happened after he started coming to church.
I prayed for a man to hold my hand in the pews. I never expected he’d make me a pastor’s wife.
I guess that’s his testimony. My job was to get him to church. And make peace with cupid.