Always Bee…utiful

This post has been refreshed:

When Philip was 9 years old he gave me the extremely sturdy, can’t believe it hasn’t fallen off the wall “My Mom is bee…utiful” plaque.

I was surprised!

I imagined Philip must have been the very last child to enter the school store.  The shelves completely bare – not even one silk rose, box of chocolates or other regular “MOM” gift to buy.  He sadly watches a lucky boy buy the very last silk rose.  The only thing left is this plaque.  He reluctantly pulls his money from his pocket because he has to buy something – I’m his mom!

There are a few flaws in my assumption. Philip is not an impulse buyer.  He is very conscientious, particularly in choosing gifts.  He will not settle. He spends hours, days, weeks etc…making choices. He will not be rushed.

Yet I’m still shocked!

Despite my ugly attitude, the plaque became cherished because it was a trying time.

Philip and I ran away from his abusive father when Philip was only three years old.  While I was safer, Philip visited his scary Dad. Philip was scared, angry and appropriately acting out.

I struggled with making the “right” decisions, wanting him safe without breaking his bond with his father.  I know his Dad broke that bond, not me, but nothing felt right.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Pretty is, as pretty does”?

Beauty is an action, a reflection of Christ’s love and sacrifice.  It reminds me of Jochebed, Moses’ mother.  The sacrifice she made to keep Moses alive by putting him in a basket, and her joy when Pharaoh’s daughter called her to nurse her own son.

Bee..utiful!

Like Jochebed, I protected my son.  The court and I severed his ties with his Dad. Philip was finally safe. I think the plaque says escaping domestic violence is Bee-utiful! 

Do you find it annoying when a beautiful women argues with you when you compliment them? I do.

Yet I rarely think of myself as attractive. My daughter asks,  “Why don’t  you think you’re beautiful?”  Busted! And speechless.

How did she become so smart?  It really hurts to be hit with your own stick.

Matthew 7:3

I want my daughter to be confident. I want her to know she is beautiful! How can that happen if I don’t model it?

Note, I totally disregarded the possibility that Philip was referring to physical beauty.

Many years ago a Lutheran Women Today  bible study encouraged women to share complements.

1 Thessalonians 5:11, “encourage one another and build each other up…”

It felt strange going around the room complementing each other. I sounded awkward and goofy but the thoughts were true.  I just wasn’t comfortable expressing them.  Now, I share every positive thought I have with my bee-utiful sisters of Christ. They flow naturally.  I can’t even imagine holding them back. It would be like withholding a gift.

Bible study taught me to stop arguing with people complimenting me.

Believe me – I’ve improved! I might look stupid when my mouth falls open but I try to close it before I say something stupid or start to disagree.  I became really good at changing the subject, telling a joke or turning the tables, but I’m still working on whittling down this gigantic board in my eye.  I’m learning to say  “Thank you.”

I’m still avoiding.  Autumn wants me to acknowledge I’m beautiful, my son gave me a physical reminder, my husband says I’m beautiful.

This blog searches for the greatest truth – love. I matter to God.  So why is this so hard? It’s not like I haven’t done this before.

When I was a teen, I said I had long eyelashes.  The Bible leader corrected, saying my lashes look long under my bushy eyebrows. Her comment is still funny and didn’t scar me for life but I’m still stalling.

Looking in the mirror, I have pretty bluish-green eyes that usually carry a laugh or dance with joy. My eyebrows are rarely bushy. I love my hair.

I think women who have the courage to leave abusive relationships are brave, therefore I’m brave.  And I think all courageous  women are incredibly beautiful.  So OK Autumn and Philip – I’m bee-utiful!  Thank you for spurring me on.

Thank you Philip for my plaque. I love it and I love you for giving it to me.

Thank you Lord for chopping away at that board. Thank you for creating me ~ bee..utiful!

Share Sisters of Christ:  Share your stories of bee-utiful women you admire. And SHOUT (type) out “I am bee..utiful!”

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