Celebrate a SAFE Holiday – EXODUS Day!

Today’s Daily Prompt:

Invent a holiday!  Explain how and why EVERYONE should celebrate.

I don’t like holidays!  Holidays make me very nervous.

My mother acted very strange, aggressive and unpredictable around any holiday or celebration including birthdays.  There was a pattern but you couldn’t set your watch or mark the day on a calendar. I never knew exactly when her anger would ignite, how long it festered or how much it would grow until it finally burned out.  But I definitely knew when the furnace was hot, I didn’t want to touch it and I didn’t want to feed it but I didn’t have a choice.

Sometimes it started with a few low deep growls, a swipe or angry look to warn me the beast was waking up.  Occasionally a sibling would send out a warning cry. But usually it arrived while I slept splattering the entire house with egg shells daring me to step on just one to feed its need to chase, catch and torture its victim.  I didn’t know what she would do – only that it would hurt!

I confess I was relieved when I heard the cracking of the shells under my siblings’ feet.  I rejoiced that the screams and smell of blood wasn’t mine; hoping that the beast was weakened by her exertion. I tried to conceal my thoughts, hide, stay out of her site, knowing she may call my Dad if she detected my thoughts.  At some point, my mother would make our father line us up and beat us with the belt until he was exhausted.  Anyone who cried or fell would be hit harder.

While I never knew when it would begin, my mother usually returned shortly after the holiday with no apparent knowledge of the beast.  She would hold me, hug me, read me a story and give me lots of kisses. I don’t ever recall looking forward to a holiday but I did look forward to the return and love of my mother.

Daily post, you never make anything easy for me but I think I may have this covered.

Designed by Karen, Sisters of Christ

Over nine years ago, I said good-bye to my abusive family and made a commitment to keeping my children safe.  I am learning to live in truth. In one single moment I went from hoping for a short life to praying for a long life. Since then God gave me the courage and the honor of sharing my story in the hope of inspiring others.

Holidays still make me nervous.  They still have so many triggers attached that I go from Halloween to Easter a step away from reality with my back pushed against my safe place inside.

However, if I had the privilege of creating a holiday, I would make EXODUS Day! – An amnesty day from pain.

This is a fitting holiday and post for the last day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October)

My children and I are safe. We are living a happily and safely ever after in Christ’s peace.   I would like to share that with all my brothers and sisters living in the shadow of fear. Turn away from your fears, run from your abusers, get safe! Turn towards God. Join me in celebrating a SAFE holiday – EXODUS Day! Amen

 “Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.” Proverbs 1:33 (NIV)

6 thoughts on “Celebrate a SAFE Holiday – EXODUS Day!

  1. Your Mother was WICKED! A holiday is a day designated as having a special significance not like what you had to endure. I am sorry and I pray that your holidays are now enjoyable and safe with your new loving family that you made. Thank you for telling your story to help others. You are beautiful! Amen!

    • Nancy-Did you just call my mother WICKED? Thank you! I know she loved us in her way but I don’t miss her. I forgive her from a safe distance and look forward to seeing her in Eternity where hopefully only my mother, without the beast will enter.

  2. My heart hurts for what you went through. I hope you are able to heal and enjoy holidays as they are meant to be, times of family, friends and joy. A SAFE holiday sounds like a great idea to me!

    • Thank you Kami! I am much better.My husband, children and church family provide many happy holidays! My husband confirms I am much better since leaving my family – I have very few panic attacks. My stomach says the fear is gone. I guess I should thank my mother for a flat stomach for so many years for keeping it clenched.

      I didn’t like SAFE as the title of my holiday but I do like a SAFE holiday for EXODUS day. I pray all women and men in abusive situations will find the courage and help to RUN! I have never regretted leaving, only not leaving sooner

  3. Pingback: Dear Mom « Sisters of Christ

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