Do you like triangles? I love triangle shaped diamonds. Actually. I love all diamonds.
Psychology says triangulation is bad (dysfunctional) because it occurs when two people who should be communicating directly with one another, communicate through someone else who has their own motives to keep the two communicating exclusively through the third party. Most of us, if not all, have been part of a dysfunctional triangle. If you’re not sure, I have two words to bring the memory home- middle school.
Whether at home, at school or in the workplace, three is not a magical number. Play date disaster. It never works because someone always gets left out.
Hmm! What about the Trinity? If three is a terrible number, why are there three persons of God- Father, Son (Jesus) & the Holy Spirit? Do they fight all the time because everyone knows two’s company but three’s a crowd! Right?
Wait, isn’t marriage and family counseling a triangle? The therapist meets with the couple to develop healthy communication. Triangulation-is triangulation always bad?
We’ve been studying a biblical triangle in Luke 10:27:
Love God, love my sisters, love self! We’ve explored the what came first (i.e. chicken or the egg) dilemma. Do I love God first or myself…? Truth One: God is LOVE, therefore, Love always begins and ends with God:
God so loved the world that HE gave HIS one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
God loves first! God loves me. My love is always a reflection of God; for my sister or for myself.
In a previous blog, All About Me, I shared my image of Jesus in the rear view mirror running behind me in his jogging shoes trying to keep up.
Truth be told, this image is a dramatic improvement over the image I carried during my abusive past. I didn’t see Jesus running behind me because I was too busy looking at everyone else. As an extreme extrovert, taught very early that the truth was irrelevant, our neighbors (opinion/appearance) would determine truth.
Instead, I envisioned Jesus driving by in someone else’s car; blessing them with beauty, health, wealth, love and everything else I felt denied. I saw Jesus smiling and waving as he whizzed by in the cool car with the already over popular, blessed person in the passenger seat. As they drove by, I poured out my anger and frustration upon my poor pathetic Jesus, slumped over in my passenger seat.
Despite how obvious it may be in this post, I didn’t realized Jesus was also with me. Jesus is outside of time. God created time. Our God is able to to be everywhere at all times with everyone. He is NEVER too busy; my problems are never too small.
I had all of the same reasons to wiz by full of joy as the next person; if not more. I had a personal relationship with Christ but instead I wasted those years abusing the King of Kings; not because God didn’t love me enough but because I didn’t accept His love-I refused to go to the well, I refused to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I tried so hard to earn God’s love. I wanted to earn God’s love. I didn’t know that love letter (Bible) was written for me. I didn’t believe I was lovable. I’m not even sure when I finally learned about GRACE.
Unfortunately, like many abused children, I grew up trying to protect myself by judging the characters around me and evaluating my worth through my assessments of others. I looked to psychology to teach me how to be normal, setting as a goal an I’m OK-You’re OK attitude found in Thomas Harris’ work; but the circus mirrors Satan kept giving me always provided a faulty reflection of myself and my sisters in Christ.
While my journey is far from over, I know the first step to happiness is pulling the car over and letting Jesus in the driver’s seat. I’m not sure when I’ll stop questioning whether He has a valid Maryland driver’s license or saying “mind the pedestrians” but it’s always a better trip when God drives; no matter how many hitchhiking sisters He picks up along the way to love; for me to love and be loved by. I’ve learned triangles are good. Jesus always provides a true, honest reflection of my sisters and of me. While He hates sin, He always loves the sinner. Embrace a triangle; you may discover lots of diamonds! Amen!