Mothers Day should be all about love, appreciation, cards, flowers and burnt toast; typically happy, happy, joy, joy… Which is the beautiful side of this day, but there is another truth and this blog is about truth.
Mothers Day can be very painful and confusing for many; difficult to celebrate. Each year 6 million children are abused or neglected each year. Sixty-one (61.3%) percent of these children are abused or neglected by their mothers; including a growing number are sexually abused by their mothers or another female relative. As with other types of abuse, the increase is probably not due to a rise of abuse but rather an increased awareness and changes in laws permitting investigation and findings of sexual abuse by women.
I was a victim of sexual abuse by a female relative. I was also physically abused and neglected by my mother. And I know I am not alone.
God hates abuse. In May 2003, I put God’s safety plan into action. I said good-bye to my abusive relationships and made a commitment to keeping my children safe and learning to live in truth. In one single moment I went from hoping for a short life to praying for a long life. My children and I were finally able to enjoy the unique gift of safety.
Psalm 4:8 says it best-
In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord
make me dwell in safety.
Some, especially during holidays, question when I plan to “go back” (“forgive”); they want a happy reunion story. They equate forgiveness with a happy reunion.
My family and I do not share the same reality. God led me away from my abusers, the Holy Spirit gives me the courage to continue to stay safe, to follow His path, to forgive and love my abusers from a safe distance, to accept a new family, my church family.
I never imagined that God would ever give me the courage and the honor of sharing my story in the hope of inspiring someone else.
My children and I are safe. We are living a happily and safely ever after in Christ’s peace. I would never put my family in the path of danger again. I can’t imagine meeting with my mother in this life unless she had been in therapy for a very long time and the visit was supervised by a trained professional. I don’t regret leaving. Satan beats me with the guilt of not leaving sooner.
This Mother’s Day, I thank my mother for taking me to church, for bringing God into my life. I know she loved me, she just didn’t know how to love. I am thankful that God has prepared an eternity for our happy reunion, to live and love one another without fear or pain.
If you or someone you know is being abused. Don’t remain silent. Get help! Report abuse!
Almighty God, I lift up to you all victims of abuse; those who hurt and those who have been hurt. Send your Spirit to all of my sisters and their children living with abuse physically, mentally or spiritually. Comfort them, hold them, wipe their tears and reassure them that the abuse is not their fault. Let them know they are not alone. Help them to seek or to bring them help, open their hearts to their rescuers, enable them to develop a safety plan and give them the courage to get safe. In Jesus’ name. Amen.